What’s Bugging You!

Sunday morning is my favorite time to write. Sundays have a different aura about them, especially when I stop for a moment and ask my inner guidance, “What should I do?” As I closed the door behind Reggie as he headed to the course, I heard, “You need to write.” 

I had already reviewed a client’s chapter, one that had a publisher’s deadline for an anthology the next day. We’d been polishing it all week, sending files with revisions back and forth – nothing major, just little tweaks, often several times a day. It was now ready for submission, and I felt satisfied. I love supporting my clients in their endeavors, and Laura Ballerini is breathing new life into the second edition of The Green Velvet Chair, with new stories and new opportunities beckoning her. 

But this call to write was for my own writing. I hesitated.

What am I going to discover this morning? 

I took a sip of my coffee, and my mind wandered to the four bins now lined up against the bedroom wall, a staging area for an upcoming trip, one that had been postponed because of world events almost two years before. One that now seemed more timely, a much-needed respite to reconnect with ourselves and each other after our own life events had shrouded us in a worrisome cloud. 

As I write this, the palm tree dances with a gentle breeze, and the early morning clouds drift off, just as our clouds seem to be. With some life events, it’s difficult to claim victory, but with the celebration of the last of his treatments just a few days ago, I believe we can breathe more freely. 

I, too, have had my own challenges. For months, no matter how hard I’ve tried, I haven’t lost what I thought were pounds accumulated from Reggie’s impeccable culinary skills. Yet, no matter how many yoga classes, Sweat Cycle sessions, or miles pedaled on the Peloton, I was not only not losing weight, but I was gaining. I was beginning to feel like a fat old lady, and an ominous cloud followed me, one that forced me to use all of my power to motivate myself and feel hopeful about the future.  

Nothing Added Up!

This doesn’t make sense. I eat better than I did in my single days, healthier and more balanced.  I have a wonderful life with love, companionship, friends, and a beautiful family.  And my work is more satisfying than ever!. What’s wrong with me!

During an annual exam, I mentioned to my nurse practitioner that I felt like I was five months pregnant and I had little energy or motivation. She immediately suspected SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth) and recommended taking a few supplements to help heal my gut microbiome. However, more investigation was warranted, so I turned to my acupuncturist and functional medicine practitioner, Jennifer Seine, founder of Indigo Dragon Center.“Let’s do a stool analysis,” she said. 

When the kit arrived, I set about completing a science experiment – three days of collecting stool samples with precise attention to detail. Apparently, I was getting a second chance at high school biology, one that I walked out on when we had to dissect frogs. Examining the insides of frogs seemed more appealing now.

After gathering my early morning renderings, which were stored in a cooler near the door (Reggie was aghast when I told him they had to be kept chilled. “Not in the refrigerator!”), I sent them off and waited, very impatient for the results.

Invasion of the Critters!

It took two weeks, and as time drew near, I started imagining the “worst.”  

“I’m so glad we did this,” Jen said when we hopped on Zoom. “You have Blastocystis spp. In other words, you got into some bad food infected with bacteria, likely on one of your travels, perhaps even in Japan.”

“That was two years ago!”

Yet, after a bit of reflection, I realized that for the last two years, I’ve been steadily gaining weight and my energy levels had been decreasing. 

For months, I wondered what was “wrong with me.” I thought I was eating too much and drinking too much wine. I thought I wasn’t exercising enough. I thought I was just “getting old,” and I struggled to accept the image I saw in the mirror.

Now, I knew there wasn’t anything “wrong with me.” I simply had unwanted guests taking advantage of my hospitality – and they were the cause of my weight gain, feeling of fullness after eating very little, fatigue, and the myriad of sound effects that my body emitted, often, embarrassingly, without warning. 

Protozoa swimming around my gut, taking up residence and expanding their “city limits,” demanded my utmost commitment to myself. And it paid off. 

Four days into my protocol – ingesting six cloves of raw garlic a day, taking supplements containing sweet wormwood, olive leaf, berberine, and other antiparasitic ingredients, and following a strict diet of no sugar, grains, gluten, or dairy, along with a homeopathic remedy – produced results. The bass section in my bowels was silenced. The scale is now heading in the right direction, and my heart feels light; my brain is free from fog. My writing feels fresh and alive again! My collaborations with clients have reached a new level. 

One night, as Reggie prepared dinner, I perched on the stool at the counter, and we chatted about my progress. He said, “If my cooking was the cause, I would have been gaining weight too!’ We eat very clean, quality cut meats and organic vegetables, with lots of greens – and small portions on our plates, mine smaller than his. (A far cry from rotisserie chicken and bagged salad, I had been consuming during my single days.) He also acknowledged that all the exercise I had been doing to reduce my belly should have helped. It was nice to have affirmation!

Now We Know 

Knowing brings relief. It explains why, after eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while chaperoning my granddaughter Naomi’s field trip, and dinner of Mexican food with my family, I was completely listless the following day, unable to concentrate as a dense fog settled in my brain. It took me three tries to get a Zoom session set up on the right day and time. It explains why, after eating a bowl of creamy (aka dairy) tomato soup with chicken, I was immediately drained of all of my energy and had to go to bed on a beautiful Saturday afternoon – one that I had planned to clean the balcony and do some writing – a completely lost moment. 

With a renewed commitment to myself, I had a clear, doable plan that did not include pounding myself into the pavement with daily double exercise sessions.  I’m now taking a measured approach to renewing my own health.  In the four-week runway before our European trip, I ate lots of greens, bone broth, garlic, onions, leeks, and scheduled a few colonics. The goal: to make space for new experiences – culinary and cultural experiences, without limitations.

Calling in the Troops!

I also called in some other assistance. Minions. 

Yes, I know I’ve probably just thrown you a curveball. 

I live in the shadows of Universal Studios, and on my neighborhood walks, a Minion peers over the tree-lined streets. I smile every time I see it, bringing a bit of whimsy and playfulness into my life. 

I’m not sure how the thought came to me, perhaps because of all the times I’ve watched movies with my grandkids, but I now envision them with guns, maneuvering through my gut, killing off the protozoa. At the end of their shift, they sweep the dead bodies away. 

Progress Continues

It’s been five months since I first learned that I had critters homesteading in my belly, and I’m so much better. The feedback from my body indicates that there are fewer of them roaming the inner workings of my body. I no longer wake in the middle of the night with heartburn and stomach cramps. I have energy, and my thoughts are clear. I can eat an occasional piece of cheese, a few grains, and some fruits.  And it’s a practice in patience. As Jen said, “It’s going to take time. This didn’t appear overnight, and it won’t disappear overnight either.” 

And I’m stronger. While I’m no longer “beating my body into submission,” I am committed to daily movement  – my weekly Sweat Cycle class, a few sessions on the Peloton, a couple of workouts on the Total Gym, a neighborhood walk or two, and Gyrokinesis and yoga. Meditation, sometimes twice a day, is key as well.

All provide lovely breaks where the muse whispers inspiration for my creative projects – and not a brain cloud in sight.  

The discovery I made was that I had to share this, even though it was so very personal.  My practitioners encouraged me to write this as well. Too many of us walk around beating ourselves up, accepting our lack of well-being as just the way it is. Thankfully, in most cases, it’s not.

Image by Pete Linforth on Pixabay